Mr. & Mrs. Malaprop Strike in Tandem

Caution: if you are easily offended at people making fun of spelling errors, do not read this post.

I know I’m a snob. I freely admit it. Spelling and grammar matter to me, and I don’t care who knows it. I’m the person who finds and points out the typos in menus. I think it’s a family thing, because the other day, my brother and I were in a New York deli and snickered together at the rows upon rows of individually labeled “Pumpkin Laof” and “Zucchini Laof.”

So when my friend, Mr. Malaprop, sent out another one of his updates, I was once again amused at his witless spelling. Throughout his email, he continually mentions his search for leather “bottels,” which, when I first saw the word, figured it was a typo. But he consistently spelled it that way throughout the entire letter, even using different forms of the word, like “bottelmaker.” Because he was trying to do some research into the history of bottlemaking, I thought perhaps he was quoting a 15th century spelling of the word, but when he did actually quote a piece of literature, he spelled the word correctly. Go figure.

I have another friend (or, as she would put it, “freind”) who throws all spelling rules out the window when she types, and it’s almost an art form how she finds new spellings for words. I was recently invited to a party of hers where the subject of the invitation itself reads, “Not having enought [sic] fun?” I am having fun now. Ooh, write something else. Please, please write something else. I haven’t had a good giggle since…since Mr. Malaprop sent me something!

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Mr. Malaprop, Part Deux

So my friend of the malapropisms has struck again. He sent out a very serious email talking about how the son of his friend just died of cancer. But this is a line that had me snickering at the image it conjured up (not to mention the really confusing grammar at the beginning of the sentence):

I know the how many times that as [name withheld] and I
passed in the shire I hugged her and hopped to impart
some strength to her.

Um, I don’t know about you, but whenever I impart strength to people, I like to hop. It’s really the most effective way to show that I really care. In fact, I’m hopping right now, just for you. Okay, I’ve stopped hopping, because my leg is tired.

In case you haven’t guessed, I’m a little punchy because I just got back from a long day of singing. I had a dress rehearsal in the afternoon; then I had to rush to church to sing for the Ash Wednesday service. So I’m pooped and just a little bit silly.

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Mr. Malaprop

A former leatherboy and current friend of mine keeps me up to date of his goings-on with regular mass emails. He’s much more of a regular communicator than I am, but I do wish he’d use spell check (or even a dictionary now and again). Then again, I’m kind of glad he doesn’t, because his malapropisms make me giggle:

Skiing - Not yet but soon. cannot wait. Im still
taunting, cajoling and generally making a nuance of
myself to the various snow demons.

How does one make a nuance of one’s self, I wonder? Do you just stand there in the background for a while and stay in the demon’s peripheral vision?

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