WTF?

So over the Thanksgiving holiday, I was away from my phone (probably eating leftovers or something like that), and when I picked up my phone, I saw I had missed a call from “Blocked Caller ID,” who left me this lovely message:

Does anybody have any clue as to who this is? Was this a prank? Maybe this girl meant to call her friend, Melvin Alvarado. I’m just befuddled.

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And now, a message from democracy

About a month and a half ago, I received a letter in the mail from the NJ Board of Elections.  It was a note telling me that my name registered with the DMV was not in the voter rolls, and it urged me to register to vote.  Enclosed was a pre-filled voter registration application and a return envelope.

I would have thought that this was wonderfully proactive from a usually bloated and unresponsive government, except for one thing:  I am already registered to vote, and I have been for many years.

I looked more closely at the pre-filled application and saw that my maiden name was on there, as well as the driver’s license number that corresponded to my maiden name.  Since I legally changed my name with the DMV in April 2007 after I got married, and I have voted at least twice since then, I know FOR A FACT that my married name is on the voter rolls, not my maiden name.

Shame on the NJ Board of Elections for using old DMV data.  I tried to call the number listed on the letter, but couldn’t get through.  I thought, “Well, I’ve voted with my married name before, and my license has a completely different number than this prefilled application.  Thank goodness I’m honest and am not registering twice.”

But now, with allegations of fraudulent registration with ACORN (which are mostly bogus and trumped up by the GOP), I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have tried harder to say something.  And then someone sent me a link to this Rolling Stone article about how some Republicans are trying to block the votes of Democrats and minorities in swing states (most notably in New Mexico, Colorado, and Michigan).

I’m still not TERRIBLY worried about my situation in particular.  In the 6 years that I’ve lived in NJ, I’ve never had a problem voting.  I’ve always received an example ballot in the mail before each election, there have never been any lines, and all the poll workers have been friendly and helpful. And despite the fact that the NJ Board of Elections tried to register me twice, I’m (mostly) confident that my married name will be on the rolls come November 4.

Steal Back Your Vote! from Greg Palast on Vimeo.

So what can we do to ensure that our vote counts?
If you or someone you know has been caged, purged, or challenged by election officials call Election Protection 1-866 -OUR-VOTE

1. Don’t mail in your ballot. Go in person.
2. Do not accept a provisional ballot. In many states anywhere between one in three to one half of all provisional ballots are discarded.  Rules are extremely lax on whether or not these ballots need to be counted by election officials.  If an election official tries to get you to vote on a provisional ballot, but you know that you are a registered voter, demand a call to the supervisor of elections.
3. Vote early.  Most states now have a period prior to November 4 when you can cast your vote.  This gives you time to get re-registered if you’d been purged from the voter rolls.  It also gives you time to go home and pick up your photo ID and bring it back your polling place, if you’ve been rejected for this reason (only some states require photo identification).
4. Check online to see if you are still registered.  Go to www.votersunite.org/info/RegInfo.asp.
5. If you re-register, or register for the first time, pull out your driver’s license and make sure that you fill out your name on your voter registration form in the exact same way as it is spelled on your driver’s license. A number of states are purging voters from the rolls if their driver’s license and registration form are not an “exact match.” As crazy as it sounds, voters are being purged from the rolls if extremely minor variations exist between the two.  For example: if your driver’s license says Karen Joy Miller, and your voter registration form lists your name as Karen J. Miller, you can be purged from the rolls.

Good luck, and happy voting!

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High Holiness

Well, it happened again; I went back to singing for High Holy Days, although not in Deal this time.

Now that I have a Germanic last name, I figured I wouldn’t have to change it to something more semitic this time, but one of the first things the cantor brought up with me was the “problem” some people might have with me being a gentile. I foolishly told the cantor about how they changed my name to Montebini in Deal, and I think it gave him ideas; he other day he asked if he could call me Miriam in front of other people.

I told him that he could call me that…but I might not answer.

Anyway, the whole situation has made me start thinking about the role music plays in religion. Obviously, music and religion have been inexorably linked since the beginning of either. But more pertinent to a person in my line of work: when did religions start hiring ringers to “improve” their services?

I know the Catholic church (and later, the Protestants) has always been a great sponsor of music. The first music conservatories were orphanages run by the church. And how many great, monumental works were commissioned by the church? So I’m very, very grateful to organized religion in general for being such a consistent sponsor of the arts throughout the centuries. But sorry, folks, I’m not going to buy into your way of thinking just because you sign my check.

Many religious pieces have been (and continue to be) written by believers, from Palestrina to MacMillan, but some really beautiful sacred music has been written by composers leading decidedly secular lives, like Mozart or Schumann.  I personally don’t believe that a piece of music is only sacred when someone who believes what the listener believes writes it.  So what is the big deal when someone who doesn’t believe performs it, as long as they perform it well?

Being a gentile in the middle of High Holy Days certainly made me feel very much an outsider, especially considering the fact that most of the services were conducted in Hebrew. And the fact that I had to hide my religious affiliation to the point of changing my name also rubbed me the wrong way. Are appearances so important that you have to make everyone believe that the 4 singers you hired to be there also are Jews? Because if it’s THAT important, then you should just never hire gentiles at all.

The irony really struck me while rehearsing for Kol Nidre, when the cantor explained that this service started back in the days of the Spanish Inquisition, when Jews went underground and had to pretend they were Christians.  Kol nidre is the prayer that renounces all false oaths those Jews made to their oppressors.  And yet I have to pretend to be Jewish.

And lest you think my frustration is only with the Jews, most churches require their choir members to bow or reverence the altar during procession to the choir stalls, and some higher forms of Episcopal and Catholic churches require you to bow to the cross on the altar whenever you pass by it.  It’s a part of the ritual, and I do it out of respect for the people worshiping around me. But I don’t take communion, nor does anyone expect me to, since communion is reserved for baptized Christians only (for Catholics, it’s reserved only for Catholics).

The problem may lie with me.  After all, if I didn’t want to do what the folks at the synagogue expected of me, I could have just not taken the job. And I’m sure some of you think that by running from synagogue to church in the same day I’m no better than a religious strumpet, stripping off my cotta and slipping on a kippah.  And certainly there is a meretricious element to what I’m doing, because this particular gig, by its very nature, is deceptive.

I’m not sure there is an easy answer to this, at least not one where I don’t offend somebody.  I am a working singer, and there are certain organizations of varying religions that feel they would benefit from my services.  If somebody feels closer to God when they hear me sing, then that makes me happy, and it brings me closer to God(dess).  Music is my church, and I am constantly worshipping there.

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What’s in a Name?

Even before I got married, people had issues with my name. I’ve had folks misspell, mispronounce, and just plain misunderstand my name, and over the years, I’ve been pretty tolerant about the whole thing. After all, I figure, “Maren” is not exactly a common name, and neither is “Montalbano.” So I give folks a break and patiently wait for them to figure it out. But now that I’ve gotten married and changed my name, it’s gotten even worse, and I’m starting to get a little mad.

Before I get into this diatribe, I do want you to know that I thought long and hard about changing my name. After all, Maren Montalbano is a brand, and I’ve spent many years making sure people remember that name and associate it with me and my face. But, on the other hand, I wanted to make sure the world knew that I was someone’s wife now. I’m a Mrs., not a Ms. or a Miss, and after having addressed multiple invitations for the wedding, I realize that it’s always easier when you can write “Mr. & Mrs. So-and-So” rather than “Mr. So-and-So & Ms. Such-and-Such.”

So I hit on a compromise that MANY women take. I would keep my maiden name, but move it over to my middle name, so that I would now, legally, become Maren Montalbano Brehm. My professional name, my “stage name,” if you want to call it that, is still Maren Montalbano, and always will be. That way, if I get a check written out to Maren Montalbano, the bank won’t have too hard a time guessing that it’s really me, since both my middle and last names will be on the account. Sounds simple enough, right? Plus, it’s what the majority of women do when they change their names.

The trouble started when I went to Italy last year, and the travel agency who was arranging the tour messed up my name on the plane tickets, putting “Montalbano-Brehm, Maren” down as my name on the ticket, when my passport, which was correct, said “Brehm, Maren Montalbano.” You’d think that would be an easy enough error to correct, but I was held up at every single airport I went through on that trip because my ticket didn’t match my passport. When I tried to correct it through the airline, they said they would make a note on the passenger list, but I STILL got held up at the airport. The fine people at TSA (and the French equivalent) clearly thought that I was trying to pull a fast one on them by adding a hyphen to my name.

Once home, it actually took several tries to change my bank accounts and credit cards. One credit card couldn’t be bothered to change my name even after I sent them a copy of my marriage certificate, a letter signed by me, and a copy of my driver’s license to prove it was me, so I have since canceled the card.

The township where I live has such bad record-keeping that they not only have my name wrong, but our address wrong as well! We found out last year that the township had been sending property tax bills for years to Ray’s previous address. When we received a zoning permit for replacement of an AC unit that we didn’t ask for, I wrote the township a very detailed letter, returning the zoning permit, along with a copy of the deed to the house, our marriage certificate, my driver’s license, and asked very politely for them to change their records. This year a similar thing happened again, so I went down to the municipal offices and made sure their databases were changed (clearly they don’t share data between departments).

Earlier this year, when it came time for us to give our receipts and reports to our tax accountant, I included a copy of our marriage certificate (which states very clearly what my new name is!) so that he could file our taxes with the correct name. Our taxes came back, and every single page said “Montalbano, Maren W.” We pointed out the problem to the accountant, who said, “Just get some white-out and change the name on the papers yourself.” So I did.

Now we’re getting our tax refunds, and if that isn’t a botched up mess, too! NY State sent me a check for “MAREN MONTALBANOBREHM,” which is a new variation — pretty creative, if you ask me. NJ State sent a check made out to “Montalbano Brehm” with no reference to “Maren” at all. Now, I’m not concerned that I won’t be able to deposit these checks, but how difficult is it for people to figure this out? Haven’t women been doing this for centuries?

On the other side of the spectrum, I am singing in a concert at my church this weekend, and all the posters and flyers have been printed with my name listed as “Maren Brehm.” I know I had been a little flexible with the posting of my name in the church bulletins, since I figured this group of people, since they knew I had just been married, would expect my name to change. And my choir director even asked me how to list my name, and I had told him, “Either ‘Maren Montalbano’ or ‘Maren Montalbano Brehm.’” I think he took this to mean I didn’t mind being listed as “Maren Brehm,” and, it turns out, I do. Professionally, at least.

I do realize I’ve made it a little bit difficult by insisting on keeping my maiden name as my professional name. So, mea culpa , mea culpa , and maybe I deserve a little bit of the grief I’m getting. But there are only three names to deal with, people. Don’t hyphenate it, ask me before you put my name on an advertisement, and you’ll be fine. It’s not like I’ve got a name like Tarquin Fintimlinbinwhinbimlim Bus Stop F’tang F’tang Ole Biscuit-Barrel. Then, I think, I would be in a lot more trouble.

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Episode XVI: The Singing Wonder

Hello, all you wild and zany friends of mine!

Yes, it is time for another installation of the Adventures of SuperMaren, the collection of true stories about my life.

When last we left our heroine, she was leaping tall buildings with a single bound…well, okay, mostly GAZING at tall buildings from high atop her perch on the 26th floor of the HSBC Tower. What is she doing now? Is she still singing, or has she fallen prey to the evil machinations of her nemesis, Imelda Indolence (who tries to lure superheros into a state of lethargy and sloth so that they no longer want do what they were meant to do)? Let us take a closer look…

Yes, yes, I’m fine. I have been singing here and there at gigs around town. My most recent adventure was singing for the High Holy Days at a synagogue in Deal, NJ. I thought it would be a pretty simple gig…two rehearsals and five performances, no big woop. As many of you already know, sight reading comes very easily to me, and singing in Hebrew is like singing in any other language…it’s all written out phonetically, so I just match the syllable to the note.

Unfortunately, several things went wrong with this gig. First, the soprano they hired (I was singing alto in the quartet) was not very good. When she sang, she was tentative at best, which didn’t really do very well for group tuning (It’s hard to sing harmony when you don’t have a melody). Besides that, the guy who hired us all claimed that he did not want to lead us, but then sat in on rehearsals and constantly interrupted our tenor/conductor with redundant nitpicking. Needless to say, rehearsals were not productive at all, and by the time the first performance came around, even after two extra rehearsals, I did not feel at all prepared…especially after the soprano was fired right before the last rehearsal.

The synagogue in Deal has a conservative congregation, and they didn’t want any gentiles singing at their services. I found this out after I was introduced as Maren Montebini, the Sephardic non-practicing Jew. They questioned the authenticity of our bass, Hillel Dolgenes, whose father was a rabbi, but the Chinese/English/Scots-Irish/Italian Wiccan sailed right by their scrutiny. Having my name changed actually bothered me more than I thought it would; I didn’t realize how important it is that people know it is ME singing, and not some made-up person.

The first part of the service went alright, but then the rabbi (who looked and acted like Napoleon) wanted to sing along with every song…even the songs that were specially arranged for our quartet! It didn’t matter that he was singing slower than us or had his face in the microphone or that it was just plain rude…he was in charge, and that’s what made it okay. Then of course, there were the congregational hymns, the music to which I did not know because it had not been given to me. I figured I could just look in the book and sing along, but the book was all in Hebrew, and although I can fake pronunciation of the Romance languages, I start stumbling when I read different alphabets. The other singers assured me that it was okay, but the intense humiliation of having to mouth “peas and carrots” in front of 200 people for a professional performance was enough for me to become indignant at the audacity of the person who hired me. If he expected the singers to know the music without being
taught, then he should have hired Jewish singers who have grown up with the music!

…alright, that’s enough ranting and raving. Suffice to say, if I get a call for this gig next year (and from what I can tell, they
were very pleased with me), I will charge AT LEAST double what I was paid this year. And they’re not changing my name.

This week I just recorded a couple of songs for a CD which will be played at the show “Independence” by Lee Blessing. For those of you in New York, you should definitely go see it. I’m not singing live, but you will hear my voice at intermission, and the show itself is wonderful. Karma Tiffany and Sonda Staley, whom some of you know, are both in it and producing the show.

If you do want to go, here’s the info:
Independence by Lee Blessing
Nov. 10, 11, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 at 8 PM
Nov. 11, 18 at 2 PM
Nov. 12 at 5 PM
American Theater of Actors
314 West 54th Street (between 8th & 9th Aves.), 4th floor
Reservations: 212-946-5554
Tickets: $12; Groups of 5 or more - $8; Groups of 10 or more - $5; $10 with donation of canned goods; $5 with gently used coat for NY Cares.

In other news, my cousin Dave just got married and I sang at his beautiful wedding. It was great to see some relatives I haven’t seen for years. And of course, there was an open bar…everyone loves an open bar…not that I got drunk because the bartender was watering the drinks down, but it’s the IDEA of the open bar that’s good.

Other than that, I’m keeping myself busy with work and singing and wonderful boyfriend and trying to keep my room clean. For those of you who keep track and want to send me gifts, cards, or large sums of money, my 26th birthday is on November 19, which is very soon, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I hope you don’t mind my egotistical ramblings. I am more than happy to hear from you, and I hope that all is well in your life. Take care, and watch out for Imelda Indolence…she could be anywhere.

Love,
Maren

P.S. - Don’t forget: November 19. My birthday. Just in case you forgot.

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